Hirarious

I just made up a joke! Ready?

Q:What instrument did Sigmund Freud play in the marching band?
A: The phallic cymbals!!!!

I may just be the funniest person in the world. Or the most insane.

Happy back2skool time, friends.
-Alz

Post Number 69!!! + 1

I'm such a letdown (for 2 reasons). Firstly, the last post was number 69 and I didn't celebrate appropriately... or INappropriately! hurrhurrhurr. Alright, I think that took care of it, that and, Sixtyyyyy-Niiiiiine!
It will never get old.

Secondly, August is over tomorrow and I've only blogged ONCE! Here's what I've been busy doing:
-Making up drinking games to 90's teen boardgames
-Creating my annual list of potential Halloween costumes
-Planning elaborate theme parties with Alexis that may or may not ever happen
-Working
-Buying stuff
-Realizing that the V.I.P Party Boys are daytime TV whores.
-Learning things from Tyra
-Jetsetting
-Playing "Nope/Week/Month/Year" with Alexis
-Being wild and sexy(? Nevermind, I just wanted to see how that one sounded)
-Swearing off boys forever
-Having crushes on boys
-Having nightmares about the LSAT being ruined by abusive, leg-less people


Yeah, I don't even know where to go after that.
It's time for fall, right?
LURVE,
ALLIE

Bear Eating Salmon or Bear-Eating Salmon?

Vacation Notes:
Alaska was pretty cold, but also insanely beautiful.
British Columbia has been hoarding hot guys and preventing them from finding me here in the US.
Seattle is the coolest city ever and I intend to move there post-graduation.
Families are crazy.
The Princess Cruise Singers and Dancers are a bunch of hot tranny messes.
Rich old people love to buy diamonds in Alaska.

Also, I think all the rich, old people on the cruise rubbed off on me because I just bought Jean Paul Gaultier perfume on eBay. Who am I?!

If I were a drag queen, my name would be Karaoke LovesIt. Amy would be Tranny SparklePanties.

END