A Quick Retraction

Dear Readers:

I officially take back any incendiary statements that I've made about Arcade Fire's album Neon Bible. While I maintain that it's not as good as Funeral, it's really not that bad. In fact, "Keep the Car Running" is pretty solid.

Also, Lil' Mama and/or Soulja Boy Tellem: I would appreciate a written apology in light of your cancellation of your forthcoming show in Philadelphia; an explanation would also be prudent.

Regards,
A.E. Myers

I make lists when I'm excited...

Here are concerts that I'm seeing sometime between now and summer that I'm zzzo exzzzited about.
Who wants to come with me?:

The Mountain Goats

Why?

Les Savy Fav

Soulja Boy and Lil Mama

I'm from Barcelona

Glow in the (fucking) Dark Tour: Kanye, Lupe Fiasco, NERD and Rihanna

Iron Maiden

Also, how dare I forget:

The Swell Season (in the spring with my girlfriend)!


Now back to my Spanish paper, "'Pecado de omisión': el triunfo del Marxismo." I find that saying things like "the Triumph of Marxism" is okay as long as you say it in another language.

Neurosis Schmeurosis

Today, I realized that it's a safe bet to compare anything that you read in a Contemporary Jewish-American Literature class to a Woody Allen movie. Example: After not reading Saul Bellow's The Victim for class today and nearly floundering in class discussion, I underhandedly added "... it's almost like a Woody Allen movie." To which the professor laughed, and suddenly agreed with my earlier nonsensical statement. Thanks, Woody Allen.

Also, I think I'm addicted to coffee.

Today in a fit of exasperated passion, I withdrew from my Women of Color class and feel suddenly free of the tight psychological grip it had over me (and the tight physical grip that it had over my Thursday evenings.) Is it ironic that finding out Lil Mama is playing in Philly on a Thursday night was the catalyst for my decision? Probably.

But seriously. Lil Mama AND Soulja Boy.

So now that I don't have to do my ridiculous, guilt-inducing reflection journal for that class, I decided to play tetris instead. The fact that I got a new personal high score has to be indicitive of the fact that I made the right decision:

Level: 11
Lines: 101
Score: 38,036

The challenge remains: BEAT IT.*
*However if you send your record attempt to me by videotape, I will review it with much scrutiny and probably find a reason to disqualify you. King of Kong, anyone?

Algunas Cositas

Buying Cosmo in Spanish was among the best ideas I've ever had. I maintain that it's not a guilty pleasure if it's also educational.

I made flashcards for the first time in my academic history. I dare you to challenge me on my knowledge of Warren Court - Berger Court era criminal law reform.

Today I bought The Number of the Beast by Iron Maiden and listened to it twice. That is to say, if you missed the memo, I'm really metal.

I drank black coffee for the first time today and didn't die! New Years resolution 1/2352 completed.

My dad told me that he's changing his party affiliation for the PA primaries just so that he can vote for Obama. He calls it "Democrat for a day." I call it "New Years resolution 2/2352 completed."

Octopus-Themed Party

Dear Diary,

Today was beautiful, aside from having a dream that I killed our fish, the Ying Yang Twins, after pouring beer into his tank. (Aside from this too. I don't even know what goes on inside that man's head sometimes.) Oh, and aside from Hooters being closed.

But other than that, it was pretty perfect (a la the song by Hoku. Not "Another Dumb Blonde", the other one.)

Now I'm going to eat chocolate covered pretzels and make a list of theme parties that I want to have someday. (Last night's octopus-themed party was a giant success.):

Ides of March! Toga Party

Mustache Bash

'Beer, Board Games and Bruce' Party

'Fondue, Fancy Wine and Feist' Party

Snow Pants or No Pants

Wedding Reception-Themed Party

Also, in spring we intend to hold our first annual "Bro Day", but this is more of an intense 24-event than a theme party. Collecting puka shell necklaces, polo shirts and seasons of Family Guy on DVD will take some time and effort, naturally.

I'm tired and wearing flannel. My life is so cool.
Myers out!

To: Texas (republcanluvrs@usa.gov)

CC: Ohio (isforluvrs@usa.gov)

RE: Yesterday's Primaries

You all owe me an Obama-pology. Based on the results of the Democratic primaries that took place yesterday in your respective states, you've totally messed up the Obama-mentum and quite frankly, made me Obama-pset. Yes, "Obama-pset" IS a stretch. I blame it entirely on you, Texas. You too, Ohio.

Regards,
Allie Obama-yers

P.S. I was tempted to use the term "Obama-holics Obama-nonymous" but then I thought that would make me sound like a maniac. Oh wait...

P.P.S. Peace out, Mike (What the) Fuck-abee. Finally!

Our Newest Embarrassing YouTube Exploit

I solemnly dedicate this to GOB Bluth and to illusionists everywhere.